Eight Ways in Which I am Totally Unprepared to Be an Adult

1. Taxes??? How do you do them? Where do you send them? Literally everything about taxes.
2. Breakfast. Seriously, how do you guys do it every single day. You just wake up and remember to eat an appropriate breakfast (Red Bull and a few bites of last nights pizza is NOT a balanced meal, apparently)? I’m usually full (or hungover) from last night, so my body just cannot find the energy to get excited about any sort of food until about 1:00. Shut up, I know breakfast is super important.
3. Routine. I don’t really get it. Other than the bare minimum-wake up, brush teeth, shower, all that basic hygiene–I abhor routine. Now that I am done with school I run in the total opposite direction of any impending scheduling.
4. I don’t watch the news–unless you count the Daily Show and the Colbert Report, which I do…that should probably be reason 5a.
5. I have zero self control. ‘I’m going to be responsible and go to bed early tonigh–oh what’s that? It’s $2 Tuesday? I guess it would be irresponsible not to have a few $2 beers..” Three hours later I’m drunk and chain smoking on the roof of my friends apartment building.
6. Iced coffee is one of my food groups.
7. How often do you need to see various doctors? Like, why isn’t there one of those little stickers they put on your windshield when you get an oil change (might be a bit problematic for the gyno though)?
8. Scheduling. I was a bridesmaid in my friend’s wedding recently and the other bridesmaids insisted on planning everything almost a year in advance. I would get texts asking, “Will you be able to go dress shopping on August 8 at noon?” Bitch, it’s January. I’m not ready to commit to what I’m eating for lunch tomorrow.


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