Don’t Have a First Date at Starbucks if You don’t Want Me to Write About It

It’s actually starting to get kind of cold but I can’t go inside because I wouldn’t be able to overhear spy on the the table next to me…

As they waited for their drinks  I heard her ask,  “Where exactly do you go to school?”


She was wearing a pink (but not too pink) lipstick that matched her leggings almost perfectly. This paired with a sundress, light cardigan and nude ballet flats all seemed to scream: this is my first date outfit. Her hair had been painstakingly curled with a hot iron by a best friend, no doubt who came over before the date to lend her some earrings and do her hair and give her some advice that she had cultivated from Cosmo.
He was in light colored jeans and a plain t-shirt—either trying way too hard to make it look like he wasn’t trying hard or he just genuinely did not give a shit.
They were both a bit awkward. Awkward as in I thought they were brother and sister at first. Meaning when I heard her say, “let’s sit outside,” while they were waiting for their drinks, I obviously sat at the table right in the middle of the patio, ensuring that they would be directly to one side of me.
It would have been wrong not to.
I was not disappointed.

I heard some of the most wonderful prepared first date questions. All of them from her. He only responded.

So, have you always been into planes? (he was in school for some sort of plan engineering, so it wash’t totally out of the blue, but….come on girl)
So like, what are your top five favorite bands??
Uh, I don’t really know
OMG me either, I don’t really know why I asked. -nervous giggling- I was just trying to think of “though provoking” questions. -more nervous giggles.
Do you have any siblings? Are you close with them?
What are your hobbies? (Really?? really???)
How do you like your school? What do you plan to do after graduation?

I was so enthralled with their conversation that I didn’t even think about the situation at first. I’m really curious about her though process in setting up this morning date…

At a coffee shop so they would have time to really talk
At a crowded Starbucks off the highway so he wouldn’t be able to abduct her, should he turn out to be a sketchy motherfucker.
On a Tuesday so she seemed laid back and spontaneous. like she doesn’t have to wait for the weekend to have fun,
At 11 am because she wanted to make it very clear that he would not be any. Not today, and not anytime soon. No, it would take a few “real” dates, ones that required him to pick her up and pick out a restaurant–she would act like she didn’t expect him to pay but she totally did–followed by some sort of activity like mini golf. Something that would sound cute when she told her friends about “OMG the nicest guy took me to play mini golf, so cute right!?!”

It was that weird time in October when fall was trying its hardest to make an appearance. So if you sat outside long enough you would wish you were wearing a sweatshirt. She was visibly getting cold, but refused to go inside, not wanting to give up the ambiance that the patio overlooking the highway provided.



  1. ChloeMay

    I overhear so many first dates and you’re so right it is almost impossible not too listen in!
    I’m curious, what do you consider the most awkward question you’ve been asked on a date?

  2. chromseconds

    I kind of feel bad for the girl. What a waste of all that effort in trying to look cute and asking questions if the guy’s as apathetic as a brick.

    P.S. She doesn’t sound like the type of chick who would have “motherfucker” in her vocabulary. Lol.

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